188
 40,913

 My husband died.....

  1 2 3 4   
I have not been around much lately. My husband of three years died suddenly on February 4,2010. He wasn't sick or killed in an accident.
My husband had Epilepsy and died of a seizure he suffered in the home. Our son and I found him lifeless in our bed. He suffocated on a pillow. The safest and sofest place for a person with Epilepsy can also be the deadliest. I did not know this....I want to share my story.

Edward and I were married on November 25,2006 in Hamilton, Ontario. It was beautiful fall day and the happiest day of our lives. We were unable to have children of our own and we wanted a family so we chose to adopt through our local CAS.
We were in the process of adopting our first child Nicholas. He was placed with us not even three months prior to my husband's death.
We are stunned to say the least. Edward was my world.
In a matter of three months, I have become a mom, a widow and a single mom.
Life will never be the same again.
Life is too short and it is over in an instant. Even if you're not done living it.
We're struggling most days just trying to figure out how to live life as a family of two. The adoption is not finalized; however, after several delays after my husband's death, it appears our son will become ours forever in October 2010.
Life without my beloved husband is no life at all.
I miss him....
He was my very best friend.
I moved to this strange city to be with my husband and now I live here, not having any family or friends within an hours drive. I am isolated and lost.
I have considered joining my husband on several occassions; however, our son has kept me alive.
I have learned that I need to pursue my dreams. I will not be returning to work when my parental leave is over in July. I will be staying home and I will pursue my dream of becoming a foster mom.
Life is too short to be in a job you hate. Find something you are passionate about and just DO IT. Live your life and don't let anyone live it for you.
I have cried publicly and wept openly. I am not afraid to show my emotions to anyone. I love my husband and I will tell the world about him. He is a great man. My hero. He was the strongest person I had ever met. In the face of adversity with his disease, he managed to be an active member of the community and hold down a full time job with the Government. He never ever let anyone slow him down even when he had a bad day with his Epilepsy. He pushed naysayers aside and conquered his fears. He taught me so much. I wish every one knew my husband because he was a force to be reckon with. A beautiful soul with so much love to give. We really miss him.

I am thankful we had a rule in our marriage......WE always said "I love you" before leaving the car, ending a phone conversation or parting ways for the day. I am thankful that the last night I spoke to my husband, I said "I love you" and I meant it.
I did not speak to my husband the morning he died....He died alone in our bed..He left without saying good bye.

My beautiful soul is free and in heaven waiting for me to join him someday. I take solace in knowing he'll never have another seizure and he is free of the pain they caused him.

Live every minute to the fullest, don't worry about tomorrow. I only live one day at a time, because the future we were planning no longer exists.

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 21 Apr 2010 12:30 AM
 23 Feb 2006
 Red Deer
Mrs_Reed
Devotee
1,562
I did not want to read and not respond.

I hope you find peace and comfort during this difficult time.

I will hold you and your family in my heart.

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 21 Apr 2010 12:33 AM
 14 Mar 2009
T&C
Duchess of the Forum
20,838
My thoughts are with you and your family. So sorry to read this frown

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 21 Apr 2010 12:34 AM
 31 Dec 2007
 newmarket, Ontario
sami806
Postaholic
5,499
I am so sorry!!

You are definately in my thoughts.

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 21 Apr 2010 12:40 AM
 24 Jul 2008
 Edmonton, AB
Siggy1909
Devotee
1,661
I'm so sorry for your loss. frown

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 21 Apr 2010 12:48 AM
 12 May 2005
 Alberta
ldb
Postaholic
7,204
I am so very sorry and cannot imagine the pain you are feeling. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you the very best with your son.

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 21 Apr 2010 12:48 AM
 27 Apr 2006
nbbride101
Addict
3,013
i am sorry for your loss

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 21 Apr 2010 12:49 AM
 3 Jun 2005
greenishfroggie
WB Addict
3,364
I am so very sorry that this happened. I hope you find peace and comfort. Again, I am so sorry.

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 21 Apr 2010 12:55 AM
 13 Jul 2006
 GVA, wishing it was GTA
tjrocks
Empress of the Forum
30,378
I'm so sorry.

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 21 Apr 2010 12:58 AM
 21 Sep 2008
123not_it
Fan
892
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for the inspiration that comes from your story and your husband's life.

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 21 Apr 2010 12:59 AM
 18 Jul 2005
 Lad.ner, BC
Bleuberry
Addict
3,071
I am truly so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. If we can be any sort of encouragement/sounding board/comfort to you during this season - and into the future - please don't hesitate to continue to keep opening up. I've found that while it doesn't remove the pain, sometimes sharing it with others can ease part of the burden.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son during this time.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:09 AM
 21 Apr 2010
Red_
Addict
3,474
My deepest condolences on your loss

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 21 Apr 2010 1:10 AM
 23 Feb 2010
 Canada
Times_R_changing
Weddingbeller
642
I wanted to express my sympathy to you and your son. I believe from what you wrote you have a strong core and compass to you. You can grieve and remember the times you had together but you will make it through. Please don't be shy around here because we can be here for you even if it isn't in person.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:23 AM
 1 Jan 2010
tentenohnine
Unregistered
0
I am so sorry for your loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:24 AM
 3 Sep 2009
 Port Coquitlam, BC
short_bride
WB Devotee
1,376
I am so sorry for your loss

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 21 Apr 2010 1:30 AM
 6 Jan 2010
aimeeleah
Chatterbox
457
I am so incredibly sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:34 AM
 10 Apr 2006
 Howe Sound, BC
AutumnBride
Postaholic
6,017
I am so so so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Please take care of yourself and your son in this difficult time.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:39 AM
 27 Sep 2005
 Ladner
Lorelei
Postaholic
5,583
I am so sorry for your loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:41 AM
 29 Sep 2007
 Alberta
Melonia
Addict
2,644
I am so sorry for your loss. Your story makes my heart heavy. I hope that you can continue to find love and happiness in your son.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:48 AM
 20 Aug 2002
Lesley
Addict
4,139
Wow, trying not to cry at work.

I am so sorry about your husband. Take care of yourself and your son.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:50 AM
 9 Sep 2007
 Niagara Region
MuskokaRoots
Devotee
1,898
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing your story and may you continue to gain strength for you and your son in the coming days.

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 21 Apr 2010 1:51 AM
 2 Apr 2005
cake
Devotee
2,232
May you find solace in the fact that he was able to help you bring your son into your family, and that he got a chance to know him, short though the time may have been. Take care, he would have wanted you both to be happy.

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 21 Apr 2010 2:10 AM
 21 Jul 2006
Rain_City_Girl
Guru
17,359
I am very sorry for your loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 2:30 AM
 21 Nov 2006
 Sherwood Park, AB
LoveSweetLove
Addict
3,123
Oh no! I am so, so sorry for you loss. My thoughts are with you.

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 21 Apr 2010 5:15 AM
 26 Mar 2009
Poppy_Cat
Devotee
2,066
My sympathies to you.

avatar
 31 Oct 2012 11:59 PM
 30 Apr 2012
 buzzle.ca
buzzle
New Member
0

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avatar
 21 Apr 2010 6:39 AM
 14 Dec 2009
 Canada, eh!
karma
Forum Devotee
1,494
I'm so sorry. You are a very strong woman, and mother.

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 21 Apr 2010 6:50 AM
 8 Apr 2009
 Ontario
Gir
Addict
3,759
I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. My thoughts are with you and your family.

If you need anything from someone that is local, please don't hesitate. Even just an ear, I'm here.

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 21 Apr 2010 6:50 AM
 4 Jun 2005
mama2boys
Postaholic
9,681
I am so sorry for your loss

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 21 Apr 2010 7:09 AM
 14 Oct 2005
 GTA, ON
mrsmat2b
Postaholic
7,744

I cannot even imagine - I am so sorry for your loss. Please do what you need to to take care of yourself.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:11 AM
 21 Mar 2007
lauren_b
Raving Lunatic
10,608
i'm so sorry for you loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:17 AM
 11 Nov 2006
 Newfoundland
Ashrose
Postaholic
5,316
I am so very very sorry for your loss... You are a strong woman. I will be thinking of you!

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 21 Apr 2010 7:18 AM
 23 Sep 2009
 Ottawa
Ariel2010
Addict
3,767
i am so sorry for your loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:22 AM
 13 Sep 2005
 Gatineau, Quebec
Karrie
Postaholic
7,230
I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope you are able to find peace and solace in the days to come.

My thoughts are with you, your son and the rest of your family.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:26 AM
 8 Aug 2008
MooseHead
Raving Lunatic
10,422
I cannot imagine what loss you are going through. This is probably one of the most tragic stories on this board. You have my sincere condolences.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:30 AM
 19 Mar 2009
 Why - are you stalking me??
NBabyMakes3
Addict
4,878
I am so sorry for your loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:37 AM
 10 Mar 2009
FebruaryBride
Devotee
1,691
My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family.

Stay strong.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:43 AM
 28 Jul 2009
 Ottawa, On
Rymistri
Devotee
1,398
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:48 AM
 9 May 2009
baby_toes
WB Addict
4,972
I am sorry for your loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:49 AM
 4 Jan 2006
Mary Ann
Addict
3,808
Please accept my deepest sympathies. I wish you continued strength and courage.
*hugs*
Mary Ann

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 21 Apr 2010 7:49 AM
 26 Aug 2005
 Toronto, ON
honeybee
Postaholic
8,946
I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:51 AM
 30 Dec 2008
 Nova Scotia
marsbug
Devotee
2,273
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:52 AM
 1 Jan 2010
Lynne & Marc
Unregistered
0
My deepest sympathies.

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 21 Apr 2010 7:54 AM
 12 Sep 2007
 Winnipeg, Manitoba
Mae
WB Postaholic
6,992
I'm so sorry for your loss.:(

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 21 Apr 2010 8:01 AM
 6 Jun 2005
 Ontario
MotherlyLove
Addict
3,260
I am very sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking. You are a very strong person! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

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 21 Apr 2010 8:05 AM
 21 Oct 2005
Cinderella
Addict
3,373
I'm very sorry you have had to deal with such unthinkable tragedy. Please take care of yourself and know that your husband has left you here on earth with a little angel for you to take care of, love and nurture.

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 21 Apr 2010 8:21 AM
 29 Apr 2007
 The Nuthouse
Sidney
Raving Lunatic
13,034
I am so sorry. You and your precious son are in my thoughts.

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 21 Apr 2010 8:26 AM
 2 Jan 2009
 Nunavut
MillyHa
Postaholic
6,666
I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and your son.

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 21 Apr 2010 8:29 AM
 30 Apr 2008
 Surrey, BC
letsgethitched
Addict
3,887
My deepest condolances for your loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 8:30 AM
 1 Jul 2009
 Ottawa, ON.
robin0619
WB Chatterbox
331
My sincerest condolences for you and your son. My heart hurts for your loss but it is also inspring to hear you speak of living every day to the fullest and not taking things like 'i love you' for granted. You seem like such a loving, strong, inspiring woman. Take care of your new son, and again I am sorry for your sudden loss.

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 21 Apr 2010 8:39 AM
 6 Jun 2007
i_love_milo
Addict
3,851
I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and your family ((hugs))

avatar
 31 Oct 2012 11:59 PM
 30 Apr 2012
 buzzle.ca
buzzle
New Member
0

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