29
 2,961

 friends...question.

..

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 9 Sep 2010 8:03 AM
 1 Jan 2010
vlahopg
Unregistered
0
i understand your friend who is staying is upset but basically people have to do what's best for their own families and they come before friends. i would sell and leave and if neighbour staying "blames" me and doesn't want to be friends then that's just too bad.

neighbour staying isn't even giving the new neighbours a chance..they may turn out to be wonderful people...

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 9 Sep 2010 8:03 AM
 26 Aug 2005
 Toronto, ON
honeybee
Postaholic
8,946
I would do what is best for my family. I would never think of what my neighbours would think of the new owners(unless I was worried something illegal or whatnot would be going on). And who's to say that these new owners wouldn't become friends with the friend? She knows nothing about them and is being very judging.

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 9 Sep 2010 8:06 AM
 1 Jan 2010
Lynne & Marc
Unregistered
0
I think that is a little extreme. I would definitely sell my house to the best offer, regardless of who they are. She doesn't even know these people, what makes her think they are so bad?

ETA: And really, they're just neighbours. It's not like they live inside her house with her. If she doesn't like them, then she doesn't have to be friends with them. I'm friendly with my neighbours because I want to be. If I didn't, I just wouldn't say HI at the odd occasion we might be outside at the same time.

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 9 Sep 2010 8:17 AM
 18 Dec 2003
 Ottawa
Baby
Devotee
2,359
Her thoughts are more along the lines of not being her culture and they have different values and ways of living. She says they are known and what she has lived in the past 'loud, yelling, disrespectful towards women, god awful food smell'.

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 9 Sep 2010 8:20 AM
 14 Jul 2010
TheCatsMeow
WB Chatterbox
328
WHAT? Seriously... Your friend is a child. The world doesn't revolve around her. No way I would ever not sell my house to the best offer just because my neighbour/"friend" did not like the buyer. And for stupid prejudiced reasons at that.

wow.

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 9 Sep 2010 8:32 AM
 23 Jun 2007
 Tinseltown
Poulette
Postaholic
9,801
1) Her having an issue is her deal, not yours. You shouldn't be letting her guilt you into anything for any reason.

2)
Originally Posted By: Baby
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 9 Sep 2010 8:42 AM
 18 Dec 2003
 Ottawa
Baby
Devotee
2,359
I'm only asking because I am trying to understand her point of view, eventhough I do not support it. But, do you think that since her neighbour considers her her best friend and keeps on ranting about no oceans will seperate their friendship and blah blah...if she owes her that much though?

I felt selfish for telling her that if I were in her neighbours' shoes...eventhough my best friend would be my neighbour, I would not refuse an offer eventhough she didn't accept it.

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 9 Sep 2010 8:46 AM
 11 Nov 2008
 Ottawa
tweet
Addict
4,254
Your friend is being absolutely ridiculous.

If I were her neighbour and wanted to make a change for my family I wouldn't feel the need to consult outside sources to make a decision, certainly not my neighbours that I'm moving away from.

If your friend doesn't like this new change, maybe she should move to the country surrounded by fields so that she doesn't have this problem.

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 9 Sep 2010 8:48 AM
 10 Jun 2010
B_Mc
WB Devotee
2,049
Um, IMO, not her business, not your business! Could anyone ever sell if they considered the needs and wants of their neighbours?!?!

On the other hand, I could totally see myself getting into a snit if we all of a sudden had nasty neighbours but that would be a snit on here, to DH or my Mom NOT to the person who is selling/sold!

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 9 Sep 2010 9:09 AM
 29 Apr 2007
 The Nuthouse
Sidney
Raving Lunatic
13,034
Nope, I wouldn't consider my neighbour. I'd be too busy high tailing it out there with my money. If you were the friend, do you think she'd say, "hey, we ahve a really great offer in a soft market, but I have to phone X to get approval of the new people before we accept?" Frankly, the idea is ludicrous.

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 9 Sep 2010 9:12 AM
 29 Apr 2007
 The Nuthouse
Sidney
Raving Lunatic
13,034
Oh and I should add, that comment? Racist. She's literally labelling and discriminating against a person because they may be from a different culture? Can only white people of European descent move into the neighbourhood? I'd be mad about that.

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 9 Sep 2010 9:14 AM
 8 Aug 2008
MooseHead
Raving Lunatic
10,422
I'm glad others have said it because this is one of the most ridiculous posts (asking for opinions/view points) that I've ever seen.

It sounds like her world is so small that to me its like she's in Grade 2 and the teacher changed the seating plan and moved her away from her best friend. Thats how immature it is.

I'm picturing the sale of this house and it being "neighbour approved". Good lord whistleold

Actually, the buyers should be made aware of the type of person THEY are moving in next to; its only fair isn't it? Sorry, just weird.

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 9 Sep 2010 9:20 AM
 5 Jan 2009
 Ottawa, ON
sgalla161
Devotee
1,798
I would never consider my neighbours when accepting an offer. Sorry, but I would be thinking about needing to sell my house to whoever is willing to give me a decent offer for it.

If my neighbour told me we would no loner be friends because of who I had chosen to sell my house to, I would think that was absolutely ridiculous and selfish.

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 9 Sep 2010 9:20 AM
 9 Aug 2006
 Ottawa
Irish
Guru
16,552
wow Okay, well, she's decided that because of the race of her new neighbors that she's unhappy her friend sold to them. You don't wanna know what I would tell her, frankly, I'd have trouble being friends with someone like that and certainly wouldn't waste my time trying to 'understand her position'. I'd tell her point blank that she very much IS a racist, who her friend sells her home to is absolutely none of her business and...well, we'll leave it at that.

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 9 Sep 2010 9:56 AM
 28 Jun 2004
 Unknown
Anonymous472
Unknown
1,899
I can't say I really have a different perspective but, when we were out searching for our first home, we found ourselves in a multi-offer situation. The sellers of the home took the information about the buyers to their neighbours (6 couples) and let the community decide on who they were going to sell the house to. There was my DH (FH at the time) and I; a young family with 1 child and an older couple. The community of neighbours decided that DH and I should get the house. Granted, the offers were all within a thousand or so from each other but the sellers felt that they had a responsibility to their soon-to-be old neighbours to choose people that would fit in well with the neighbourhood.

Their choice probably couldn't have been more perfect! We became great friends with our new neighbours and continue to spend time with them (8 years later) even though we've all moved out of the neighbourhood 3 years ago.

I'm not saying the friend is right or wrong. When the market is in the toilet, you certainly don't have the leeway to turn down offers. But, when given the opportunity, I think it's nice to keep your old neighbours in mind when accepting an offer.

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 9 Sep 2010 10:02 AM
 21 Oct 2009
lastone
Postaholic
8,824
how does she know she will not like this new family? Did she interview them?

I think your friend is being silly and very high schoolish. Houses are sold on the basis of monetary offers NOT on personal characteristics and whether or not the neighbors approve of them.

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 9 Sep 2010 10:04 AM
 1 Jan 2010
vlahopg
Unregistered
0
Anonymous472 - i have never ever heard of this happening. I like my neighbours and we are friendly enough with them but this would not be something I would ever do.

mind you,,this makes me think of US condo boards where people have to be vetted to get the condo..

as if buying a house wasn't stressful enough

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 9 Sep 2010 10:18 AM
 24 Jul 2006
 Ottawa, ON
_Trixxy_
Postaholic
8,243
I think your friend is nuts. Since when can she dictate who moves into the neighbourhood?

BTW - She sure sounds racist to me!

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 9 Sep 2010 10:30 AM
 18 Aug 2008
 Toronto, ON
2009baby
Addict
4,587
If I were selling my house, I would sell to whoever made the best offer for ME. Although I'm close with most of my neighbors (and very good friends with a couple of them), they would have no say whatsoever in who I sold to (regardless of their reasons). And FWIW, I think your friend is being absolutely ridiculous.

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 9 Sep 2010 10:31 AM
 12 Oct 2006
VanIslandBride
WB Chatterbox
374
I'm sorry but your friend is super racist.

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 9 Sep 2010 11:51 AM
 21 Sep 2008
123not_it
Fan
892
Isn't it illegal not to sell or rent to someone because of their race??? I mean, I can understand if they have a lowball offer and you say no because of that, but if they have reached an agreeable offer price how can you possibly say, oh no the deal won't work because my neighbour-friend is a racist. I think what she's asking her friend to do is illegal!!!

Poor new family to the house though, would hate to live next to her!

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 9 Sep 2010 11:59 AM
 21 Jul 2006
Rain_City_Girl
Guru
17,359
Your friend is insane.

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 9 Sep 2010 12:02 PM
 6 Jan 2010
Lorax
Weddingbeller
934
I'd say your friend needs to pull her head out of her a$$.

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 9 Sep 2010 12:57 PM
 13 Feb 2006
 Ontario
MommyD
Postaholic
5,285
Your friend is being ridiculous!

It's not up to her who buys her neighbours home... they want to move and sell their house, it's not their problem who they leave behind for the neighbours!

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 31 Oct 2012 11:59 PM
 30 Apr 2012
 buzzle.ca
buzzle
New Member
0

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 9 Sep 2010 1:03 PM
 11 Mar 2005
 Niagara Falls
DeniselovesMike
Raving Lunatic
11,303
Everyone has posted my thoughts already, crazy

However as a homeowner with a house up for sale with no bites, everyones money is green so I could care less what colour the persons hand is

It often makes me wonder when u see side by side house for sale if this is why the second one is moving ad they will miss their neighbors

We have great neighbors all around our street of about 20 houses and the only bad ones are right next to us

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 9 Sep 2010 1:15 PM
 27 Jan 2006
 Calgary, AB
August26Bride
WB Addict
3,289
Um, there is no way I would refuse an offer because my neighbor/friend doesn't approve of the people buying the house!

I think it is extremely petty of the neighbor to openly ask your friend to reject the offer! It's none of her business and if she doesn't like the people then she can move!! If she is going to let a friendship go because of this than she isn't a good friend in the first place.

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 9 Sep 2010 1:21 PM
 18 Dec 2003
 Ottawa
Baby
Devotee
2,359
She thinks that since they are close friends and her meaning of friendship, her neighbour/friend should consider her wishes or at least ask her what she would prefer if more than one offer comes in...which she said has. She said that her friend's choice impacts her life and she should have a choice in what her life will be.

I am at a loss trying to explain to her my insight, because she has found another person who shares her same opinions.

I told her friends comes in all shapes, forms or sizes so we cannot predict what kind of relationship she will have with the new neighbours...that she cannot judge its book by its cover and that if she now thinks that being too close with neighbours can come to trouble later on (like now)...then she should stick to herself and put that distance between them (her and her new neighbours).

I told her that my rule is to keep my neighbours far (meaning, I will say hi and be polite, but I will never become best friends with them). its like my rule to rent to family and friends, its not a good idea.

I told her that eventhough she thinks A and her neighbour thinks B...she should not cut friendships just because they have differences. Of course they might not be as close as before, but is it worth losing a friend because of this? She says yes.

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 9 Sep 2010 4:30 PM
 30 Oct 2006
ClareBear
Devotee
2,408
Ummmmm, Heck no! I'm selling to whoever gives me the best offer. The thought of my neighbours wishes wouldn't ever cross my mind.

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 9 Sep 2010 4:53 PM
 2 Oct 2008
Allure
Devotee
2,402
I don't think you will be able to get through to her.

You know when you get to a point in a debate where you can see that your words are falling on deaf ears? I think that's about where you are with your friend.

These racist feelings are everywhere still, and I am not as surprised or appaled as some of the other posters here are.

I think all you can do is be a good listener for your friend, and encourage her to socialize with her new neighbours. It may be a very good opportunity for her to see that different cultures are not as scary as she has perceived them to be.

I certainly wouldn't right her off as a freind or tell her to "pull her head out of her a$$". I really fail to see what good that would do anyone. I seriously doubt doing that would make her realise she is wrong about her preconceptions.

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 31 Oct 2012 11:59 PM
 30 Apr 2012
 buzzle.ca
buzzle
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0

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