28 Dec 2007 5:56 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Just wondering if anyone is marrying or has married an RCMP officer? My fiance is presently at Depot, and it makes planning very hard! We want to get married in 2008 but there are so many unknowns ahead of us.
28 Dec 2007 11:22 PM
6 Feb 2007
Lower Mainland
girly79
WB Lurker
158
congrats on your upcomming wedding. Im am getting married to my mountie Aug 2, 08. When does your fiance grad? I can see planning would be very difficult. My honest advice would be wait until you know what town you will be posted to before making any decisions. Once you know that then you can plan a little. His first 6 months can be very stressful being on rft and having to do projects. It just depends on the detachment and the people there. My fiance wouldnt talk about the wedding or make any decisions until about the 5-6 month mark. Good luck and feel free to message me if you have questions.
29 Dec 2007 1:14 PM
17 Jun 2006
Nova Scotia
atsea
Devotee
1,166
Dh is a member and we're coming up on our 3rd wedding anniversary. We had a red serge wedding and it was beautiful!
29 Dec 2007 7:56 PM
4 Dec 2004
Central Alberta
WhiteGold
Fan
696
I agree with girly, wait until you know where you are going to be posted. You can always get a dress and have the BM dresses picked out, stuff like that. You can plan a wedding in a very short period of time if you have too. Your FH will be exteremly busy the first 6 months out, so maybe wait until after that to plan and get married. Oh just a word of advice, if you plan on buying a house, wait until he is posted, the force will supply a hotel for a few days. The reason being is if you buy the house before he has signed on the dotted line you will not get back your lawyers fees. And if you write a cheque to the lawyers, make sure it is our FH account because again they won't cover it if the cheque has your name on it. We bought a house together while DH was a member but we weren't married yet, so we made sure the cheque only had DH's name on it and we got back all of the money. A couple that we know bought their house two weeks before her DH graduated and they didn't get back any of there lawyers fees. Also, a couple that we know wrote a cheque to the lawyers, half on her account and half on his, and the force only paid them back 1/2.
We had a red surge weddign and it was so nice, plus tons cheaper as far as renting or buying suits for the guys goes. That way maybe you can spend more money on your dress LOL LOL.
Good luck.
29 Dec 2007 8:38 PM
6 Feb 2007
Lower Mainland
girly79
WB Lurker
158
We never had any fees covered buying a house. We were told that only happens on your first transfer, but not the first posting out of depot.
Who knows, it seems everywhere is different (LOL). It would have been nice if they had paid for the lawyer but no such luck. I cant wait until the next move, lawyers, commissions, and all paid.
29 Dec 2007 10:17 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Thanks for the advice. We had already decided that we wouldn't jump into buying right away. But I never would have thought not to write a cheque in my name.
30 Dec 2007 12:06 AM
4 Dec 2004
Central Alberta
WhiteGold
Fan
696
Your welcome. I just talked to my DH and he mentioned that if you guys weren't common law before the move that the force might not (most likely will not) pay for your move, just your FH. If you have any other questions please feel free to PM me. I wish that I had met my DH before he went to Depot and been at his Grad, but I wasn't
Enjoy it, and hopefully he doesn't have too much time left until he comes home.
30 Dec 2007 2:26 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
I'm almost positive I'm considered his common law. I know he marked off single on the initial application but throughout the process with the interview and background check, I believe that was adjusted. We've dated for three years and lived together for two.
FH will graduate in April. It has been wonderful sharing the excitement with him. It's been hard having him gone, but in many ways it has made us closer and stronger. I feel really confident that we can support one another through anything now. Although some days, I grow weary of "sharing" him if that makes any sense. Sometimes it feels like everyone keeps telling us how hard it will be, so it is encouraging to find others on here in the same situation.
A co-worker of mine saw a member get married on a cruise she was on. All the ladies on the cruise wanted their photo taken with the groom. I got a pretty fabulous dress, so I don't intend to let him steal the entire show. I'm hoping we'll be showstoppers together.
30 Dec 2007 7:37 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Oh, another question: how difficult is it to match the red serge? It loooks to me like that kind of orange-y red that is tricky to co-ordinate with. I'm not looking for an exact match or anything. I just don't want the tones of my red bouqet to clash.
30 Dec 2007 9:53 PM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
I chose not to match his serge exactly because it can be a finicky colour. The groomsmen's tuxes were almost perfect match though
If you are worried about getting close, then take his coat in or find a piece of fabric that matches and take it with you when you go shopping. Either that or stear clear of the reds all together and go navy or yellow. Even a nice royal purple would go well.
Congrats on joining the club
There's lots of wives and future wives around who will lend an ear when you need it. It's a different kind of life than most people would imagine it to be and it takes some adjusting on your part, but if the two of you can find a groove it can be a great experience! Get used to 'sharing' your FH, everywhere you go people will recognize him and talk to him like you aren't there. I've learned to really carve out my own life too so that I have people to talk to when people are yakking away at him.
Enjoy the adventure, there are so many ways the two of you can go, be open to anything and you'll have a great time.
30 Dec 2007 9:55 PM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
I just re-read your post- you were talking about flowers! I don't think you'll have a hard time with the flowers. I chose all white so that they wouldn't disappear in his serge, though they kind of hide in my dress
Lots of rcmp brides go with fall coloured flowers.
31 Dec 2007 1:07 AM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Thanks for posting that photo. You all look amazing!
It certainly allayed my anxiety about the reds having to match. Stunning! (and I love your sassy flip flops)
Talked to the FH tonight and we are starting to close in on a date (Dec 6/7 or Dec 20/21). We both want to get married in 2008, we were engaged July 2007. I always imagined a summer wedding but started to think about some of the advantages of getting married in December.
- Gives us a whole year to plan.
- FH will be past his 6 month mark on the job, and hopefully feeling less stressed and more settled.
- More time to pay for it all (including more time with 2 incomes again).
- A good month to come home and visit the family.
- The reception venue we want will be decked out for Christmas and even more beautiful.
So, here goes another question: should we set our date now and hope he can negotiate the time off when it comes to getting posted?
I know that seems a little far fetched, but I almost feel like we need to take a stand and make it happen. If we don't set a date until the spring, we'll probably get pushed into 2009. From my own experience (I'm a nurse and they are always so short they never want to approve holidays) my peers that negotiated from the outset got what they asked for while those who are more flexible just never get any time off at all.
Any thoughts?
[list]
31 Dec 2007 1:40 AM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
I didn't catch how long you said he had left. Assuming by your ambiguity, he hasn't found out where he'll be going yet, so he's still a ways away from grad. I would wait. You don't want to set something up and then run into a situation with sticky supervisors who won't give him the time off (I've seen it happen). That is a tough time of year to get time off, especially for a new member just coming into the office. Even if he did get the time off, there is the possibility of stepping on toes, which you definately don't want to do. You'll have plenty of time to plan the wedding once you have a better idea of what staffing at the new detachment is like. More than likely people will be supportive and will be glad to step aside and let him go off and get married, but you don't want to put your cart before your horse so to speak.
I defintately agree that it's wise to wait until his RFT is done with, that is such a heavy learning period for them that life doesn't really settle down until after that 6 months is up. Plus, it'll give you time to check out your new home and what's around.
31 Dec 2007 11:07 AM
17 Jun 2006
Nova Scotia
atsea
Devotee
1,166
I agree with JillplusRyan, December may be a hard time of year for a new member to take time off. I know with DH's detachment they usually do 7 days on/ 7 days off over the holidays so they end up only working either x-mas or new years. This started the weekend before x-mas (Which is the second date you specified) Senior members would get first pick and then it would continue down the line to the most junior member. (Which most likely will be your FH) Hope this helps....
31 Dec 2007 11:34 AM
6 Feb 2007
Lower Mainland
girly79
WB Lurker
158
I agree. That time of year can be very difficult to get time off (depending on where you go). I know my fiances detachment the shifts dont change, 4 on 4 off and if you want time off during the holidays its totally on seniority. And after 1 year in my fiance is still last for seniority (grrr). I know your excited and want to plan, but honestly RCMP will put themselves first. Just please save yourself the heartache and dont tell people your date until rcmp ok's it. Once he gets his detachment info then he will have contact with his trainer and they can figure this all out.
Happy new year
31 Dec 2007 8:09 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Ugh. I was afraid that would be the response. He'll grad in April. I think we might know his posting by March(?). But I've also heard they can change your posting up until the end. Crappy for me, as a nurse, I will have to register in another province and would like to do that well in advance.
I almost wish we had been married before all this started. For the three years before we were engaged, he had been trying to get in. The whole process has been so long already. We're both dying to have kids too. Not that marriage is a prerequisite, but since we are this close...
1 Jan 2008 1:23 PM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
All will be great in the end! Chin up sweetie! Once the excitement starts and he finds out his posting (yes they can change his posting right up until he goes, but the chances of that are pretty much nil)you will get right into it and hopefully have fun with it. 9 months is a long time, plenty of time to plan a wedding. Once you guys get in and settled, he can test the waters, find out if he'll be able to get the time off and then you can work around that.
And just a note: better prepare yourself- your whole life and career will revolve around his job if the RCMP has anything to do with it. I was a little unimpressed to say the least when I heard some of the archaeic bull-sh!t they pump into those boys' heads. I am still (2 years later) trying to reverse some of that brain-washing. Uggg
1 Jan 2008 2:28 PM
17 Jun 2006
Nova Scotia
atsea
Devotee
1,166
Quote:
And just a note: better prepare yourself- your whole life and career will revolve around his job if the RCMP has anything to do with it. I was a little unimpressed to say the least when I heard some of the archaeic bull-sh!t they pump into those boys' heads. I am still (2 years later) trying to reverse some of that brain-washing. Uggg
HAHAHA...it does get better...dh has been a member for 10 years and he's made some career choices based on whats good for both of our careers..that did mean turning down 3 transfers and staying in the same posting for all of those 10 years. Dh was just transfered to his ideal job in the city which is excellent for my career!
1 Jan 2008 9:02 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Thanks again. I'm trying to stay positive. The hard part is staying patient. We want a wedding in 2008 and a baby in 2009...lol. I never would have pegged myself as a control freak (or a girl with a timeline), but I find myself wanting to nail down all the big details now.
I keep reminding myself that it is possible to plan the wedding in 6-9 months. We have the advantage that there are not as many December weddings so it may make it easier to get our desired vendors (although there are Christmas parties to contend with). And since we'll both be on the bottom of the totem pole in our new jobs, it's a pretty safe bet we'll BOTH be working Christmas. Which means we'll have other days off in December...days on which we can get married I hope.
It's really great to hear the positives from you girls. Most of what I get is comments about how hard it is going to be. We are pretty realistic about what we are getting into. This has been his dream before we even met, and I always knew that I would have to accept that his career would take precedence over mine. I feel really fortunate to have a profession that is in demand everywhere. And the BEST part is seeing the man I love get a chance at his dream!
1 Jan 2008 11:03 PM
13 Nov 2007
Guvnes
WB Lurker
172
Just on a different note - I am marrying a police officer but not a mountie - it's fun planning this wedding.
1 Jan 2008 11:13 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Congratulations! When's the big day?
2 Jan 2008 2:47 PM
1 Mar 2007
Toronto
robyn_rox47
WB Addict
3,701
MY cousin married an army man.. the dress uniform is almost the same colour....
here is a pic of the dress I wore.. it wasn't to hard to find a dress, only a few lines of BM's dresses have it....
GOOD LORD THAT PICTURE WAS HUGE!!!
Here:
3 Jan 2008 1:58 PM
13 Nov 2007
Guvnes
WB Lurker
172
May 17 2008 is the date I marry my Staff Sgt.
4 Jan 2008 2:50 AM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
Just wanted to put a little positive spin on some of the (MY?) slightly less positive comments. It's not ALL hard. It is a tough job, and it takes a lot of adjustment, but it's a lot of fun too. You'll get to know his workmates very well and if he's on a good rotation schedule, there will be lots of time to socialize. We live in a fairly small town, so we don't go out much, but nobody knows how to party like cops! We've made some great friends, people who will be with us our whole lives. The bonds you will create with other people who know and understand your life will be priceless.
And don't forget the free 'cab' rides every once in a while when you've had one or two too many
4 Jan 2008 7:31 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
I'm really looking forward to those positives. And actually, most of the negative comments I hear come from people "outside" the profession.
I'm a nurse, and I find it very similar. You form close bonds because you share such intense experiences that most other people just don't relate to.
I work in mental health and addictions. FH and I often joke about how we have some of the same "customers" because it is SO true! It might sound insensitive, but humour is a common coping mechanism in both our professions.
31 Oct 2012 11:59 PM
30 Apr 2012
buzzle.ca
buzzle
New Member
0
For more discussion like this or to reconnect with weddingbells.ca forum members, check out the forums at buzzle.ca!
4 Jan 2008 9:56 PM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
Black humour will be your saving grace. Though the comments and off colour jokes are highly inappropriate, they help to diffuse some of your work stress. I used to work in mental health and later in a special care unit of a retirement community, so I get what the humour can be like. (though most of my friends would never understand)
4 Jan 2008 10:46 PM
13 Nov 2007
Guvnes
WB Lurker
172
I totally agree. When we met 5 years ago I was in child protection and he was in charge of the child abuse unit, the high risk offender program and the child at risk response team and the serious habitual offender program. He renovated - A LOT - helped relief the urge to commit a serious criminal offense.
PS, we have a really nicely renovated basement.
5 Jan 2008 12:49 AM
6 Feb 2007
Lower Mainland
girly79
WB Lurker
158
Over christmas we were visiting with a group of old friends and they didnt get the jokes. One actually said "thats mean!". But its totally true, the jokes are what keeps everyone sane.
Im studying to be a child protection worker (3 semesters to go
) and I think the same thing....oh we will have some of the same clients. It should make things interesting
I love my RCMP affiliated (sp?) life. Its so interesting and sometimes really fun.
5 Jan 2008 1:37 AM
17 Jan 2007
North Vancouver Island
seastar
WB Lurker
176
I just wanted to share my experience with the matching of flowers.
Since I live in a small town the selection wasn't great. I actually took some thread samples from the Serge into the florist and we matched them with a colour chart of different roses. The next order she put in was for the colour we thought looked closest and I was able to bring one home to check it against the Serge. It was perfect.
Wish I could remember the name of that type of rose. Anyhow, I will try to attach a photo to this message to give you an idea.
[image]
[/image]
As for being married to a member, it is certainly full of adventure but also an incredible sense of belonging and support. My DH was on call Christmas Eve and received a phone call at 1am. It was for a fire in a remote location, a 2 hour drive each way. I asked if I could tag along to keep him company for the drive and it was great. It snowed, it rained, it was dark and what a way to spend Christmas. We had nothing to do for 4 hours but talk. We got home at 7am, opened our stockings and slept till noon. Not the most romantic first Christmas but probably the most memorable.
I was proud to know that he was out there taking care of things so others could be with their children and families. I am sure next year we will be sleeping knowing someone else is looking out for us.
5 Jan 2008 2:57 AM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
What a wonderful Christmas you must have had, Seastar! DH was working, but our community is very very busy in town, so no opportunities like that for us
And beautiful flowers! I can't believe how well they match!
5 Jan 2008 4:33 PM
1 Jan 2010
Anonymous
Unregistered
0
Another RCMP bride here! We got married in Cuba, so we just picked tropical flowers - I think they looked great!
I agree that you'll have to wait until he's actually posted to do any planning, even if you're planning on having the wedding where you're originally from, as opposed to your new home. It can be a tough life, but we were so lucky to get a great detachement that made us feel welcome from the start. Honestly, it's all about your attitude (both of you); if you go in thinking it's going to be terrible and you'll hate where you end up - you will! We moved from Ottawa to a tiny town in Northern Alberta and honestly, I love it. Feel free to PM me anytime if you have any questions!
5 Jan 2008 9:55 PM
17 Jan 2007
North Vancouver Island
seastar
WB Lurker
176
Thanks JillplusRyan. Christmas was definately not how I planned it. Thank goodness I wasn't cooking dinner that night, I have never slept through most of a day like that but it was nice not to have to get up.
One good thing about the RCMP, you almost always will have ready made friends, often even like minded people as it takes a certain type of guy/gal to want to devote their life to the force. We had no less than 3 offers for turkey dinner this year, all fellow members.
One thing to consider when planning an RCMP wedding is that if you do get posted to a small or more remote location it will be difficult for guests traveling.
We had a new constable who was married only a few weeks out of depot. He arrived, settled in and then took a week off right away to go home for his wedding. He was the only one who had to travel, it gave his wife something to think about while he was at depot and they didn't have to invite all his new co-workers.
Because we were married at home it was unthinkable not to invite the other members. Almost doubled our guest list but it was an honour to have them all there.
I am adding a photo of the groom and best man walking their mom down the 'aisle' to her seat. Notice the corsage matches the serges. It was the only detail I really cared about and I was glad I did. Wish the weather had worked out so well!!
6 Jan 2008 3:11 AM
22 Dec 2004
Mala_mare
Fan
588
Quote:
Oh, another question: how difficult is it to match the red serge? It loooks to me like that kind of orange-y red that is tricky to co-ordinate with. I'm not looking for an exact match or anything. I just don't want the tones of my red bouqet to clash.
This is what I had for flowers.
My flowers:
BM's flowers:
6 Jan 2008 6:38 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Thanks everyone for all the flower suggestions. They are all very different, and all look lovely. So, I guess anything goes!
14 Jan 2008 2:19 AM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Totally unrelated to my initial post, but I didn't want to start a new one.
I found a woman who makes cakes in Regina who has agreed to make and deliver these cupcakes to FH's troop on valentine's Day. I'm excited!
14 Jan 2008 11:24 AM
1 Jan 2010
Anonymous
Unregistered
0
So cute! What a great idea - I'm sure the troop will love them
18 Jan 2008 8:39 PM
18 Jan 2008
Atlantic Canada
HealingHands
New Member
2
Wow I am so happy that good ol Google led me to you wonderful ladies !! haha
Congratulations on the engagement, I cant even imagine how hard it must be to plan a wedding while your other half is still in Depot. By the looks of the amazing pictures though I am sure it helps you a bit more !
My other half and I are not engaged yet, he is actually in the wonderful world of the -40 cold of Depot until June so we figured we would avoid having the extra stress and do things one step at a time
Plus I think after all his hard work out there and the year long application/training the summer should be his time to shine and celebrate!
Best of luck with your planning, and Super cute cupcakes (I have no idea what I am going to send to mine yet!)
29 Jan 2008 9:31 PM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
I ended up doing the cupcakes as a post-midterm celebration for this coming Thursday. And I'm going to Regina for a visit in 10 days!
18 Feb 2008 8:19 PM
17 Feb 2008
mrssoon2B
Weddingbeller
900
Hi Ladies. Does anyone know how many intakes Depot has per year for their cadet recruitment training? I just got engaged and my FH is currently in the hiring process. I'm curious to know how this will affect our anticipated wedding date if and when he gets called to Depot. I've noticed that some people have mentioned that their FH is to graduate in april, I've also seen August, etc. Is it twice a year or is it continuous throughout the year?
18 Feb 2008 10:16 PM
6 Feb 2007
Lower Mainland
girly79
WB Lurker
158
Intake is almost weekly now from what ive been told.
19 Feb 2008 12:10 AM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
It was 1 troop per week when my FH started. They have since increased it to 2 troops per week.
19 Feb 2008 10:00 AM
17 Feb 2008
mrssoon2B
Weddingbeller
900
Oh, that sounds like pretty good news then. So if FH is in the interview stage, hopefully it won't be more than 3 or 4 more months before he heads off for Depot.I was concerned that there was either a June or January intake only and he would have to wait until next year if he didn't make it in time for this spring.
19 Feb 2008 8:16 PM
18 Jan 2008
Atlantic Canada
HealingHands
New Member
2
If he is at the interview stage and you are in the east coast it could very well take more then 4 months before he leaves because he will still have to pass the lie detector and then do all his medical stuff...and unfortunately the maritimes are VERY slow with the whole process. (small place=small staff)
If you are not in the maritimes then from what I have heard it tends to go pretty fast.
Best of luck to you guys though
19 Feb 2008 8:33 PM
17 Feb 2008
mrssoon2B
Weddingbeller
900
Thank you. We are in Ontario.
On another note, I am so happy this topic exists on the forum.
19 Feb 2008 9:14 PM
24 Jun 2006
The middle of the Pacific
Whizz
Postaholic
6,387
Pretty well everywhere is slow with their intakes. That said, they are taking lots of troops now. They were doing 50 a year (they didn't take any the 2 weeks at xmas), but I know that they've upped that significantly in the past few years.
This forum is great. It's nice to have a place that you can come and unload all your good stuff and bad stuff with people who understand. Not to mention all the wonderful ladies here and their great ideas!
13 Mar 2008 1:58 AM
28 Dec 2007
GTA
shawnita
Weddingbeller
858
Graduation is fast approaching...and we'll be celebrating with this great cake!
13 Mar 2008 12:08 PM
1 Jan 2010
Anonymous
Unregistered
0
Shawnita - what a great cake! Are you making it or ordering it?
I really like the cake shown on your photo but is there other styles of cakes?
27 Apr 2008 4:42 PM
27 Apr 2008
Lytton, BC (for now), soon to ...
Jennerator
New Member
2
Quote:
Graduation is fast approaching...and we'll be celebrating with this great cake!
That's a really great cake! Wish I had thought of that when DH graduated in 2005.
Did you find out your post and start date yet? I hear you with getting anxious and excited about the changes in your life to come... including getting the wedding rolling with kidlets to follow shortly after.
It's such a great time in the spouse's (or spouse to be!) life.
29 Apr 2008 6:01 PM
21 Nov 2007
Minou
Chatterbox
405
I'm just going to tag along because there doesn't seem to be any recent posts for members of the Canadian Forces. Although I don't have the same colour-matching challenges as you, navy blue is much easier. . . air force
In someways I have it easy, since I'm also a CF member, I'll always have a job when we show up at a new base. We've already been stationned a two different bases once in our careers, hope it doesn't happen again.
31 Oct 2012 11:59 PM
30 Apr 2012
buzzle.ca
buzzle
New Member
0
For more discussion like this or to reconnect with weddingbells.ca forum members, check out the forums at buzzle.ca!