Not being #1

DS is going through a phase right now (at least, I hope it's only a phase) where he only wants his dad. At first, I thought it was a great break for me - but it's really starting to bother me. The only time DS ever wants me is in the middle of the night, and of course, DH is more than happy to let me be the person that gets up every single night.

DS is fighting me on everything. Fighting at diaper changes, fighting at dinner, at bedtime, getting into the car seat, you name it - it's a battle. But Daddy can do no wrong.

DS just woke up from his nap, I usually go up to him and we cuddle in the rocking chair for a few minutes. Well, DS saw DH and that was it for me. Wouldn't even let me hold him.

I'm not sure what's going on. The only thing I can think of is that I'm often the person who scolds DS. I am the one who takes him to daycare (and picks him up), I'm the one who puts him to bed and naptime (and that sometimes means letting him cry), and I bring DS home after work/daycare. DH isn't here yet. I have to get dinner made, which means DS and I can't go out and play. But when DH comes home, since I'm cooking dinner, him and DS get to have good quality playtime together. And simply put, if I don't make dinner - it likely won't get made, or if it does, it'll be way too late (DS is in bed by 7:30).

I'm just frustrated and resentful. I took a year of maternity leave to be my DS's everything, I nursed him (even though the first six weeks were he!!), I always put him first - but Daddy's the one who gets all the quality time with him. I get DS when he's sick and/or tired and/or miserable.

I guess I don't really know the point of this post. Just needed to let it out.

 27 Jun 2009 9:06 PM
 23 Jun 2004
 Moncton, NB
WB Postaholic

It is a phase. We've had it both ways here. For a while it was Mommy Mommy Mommy, then Daddy Daddy Daddy...then back to Mommy. Now we're in a Daddy most of the time, Mommy is for bedtime, middle of the night and when he's sick. But deep down, Mommy is always #1

 27 Jun 2009 9:17 PM
 20 Aug 2006
 Cambridge, Ontario
We just went through a phase like this and it was awful!

Like you, at first I was thinking it wasn't too bad but then as it carried on, my feelings were really getting hurt. It was to the point that I was sure DS hated me - a screaming fit in Rona where he was slapping my hands to keep ME from pushing the cart and yelling "NO! NO! Dada!!" had me in tears! It was even at night where if DS woke up and I went in he would scream and cry and call for "Dada".

Like you, I tend to be the "tough guy" and I'm also the one who drops him off at daycare in the mornings (DH gets to be the fun guy who picks him up). I kept trying to rationalize that maybe that's why it was happening. I was also worried that he could somehow sense that his world is about to change with the new baby on the way and was blaming me for being pregnant (I know, I know, d@mn pregnancy hormones! *L*)

It went on for about a good week and then just stopped. He still loves his Dada and wants to be with him but I'm back in the good books and he still wants me again too! I was so frustrated when people kept telling me it was a phase but it really was and it did pass. Hang in there!

 31 Oct 2012 11:59 PM
 30 Apr 2012
New Member

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