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Re: Where is everyone?
CB is dead...really really dead. WB is pretty dead. I am muddling through on my own with the help of some ladies I met here...
CB is dead...really really dead. WB is pretty dead. I am muddling through on my own with the help of some ladies I met here before it died. I'm pretty sad that all the cndn wedding forum boards seem to have died.
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Re: Need some wording help please....
yeah its an announcement ...
yeah its an announcement
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XPost - need wording help please
I need a cute but smart-[censored] but grandparent friendly blurb to put on a photo in a card. context: its of a couple on their...
I need a cute but smart-[censored] but grandparent friendly blurb to put on a photo in a card.
context: its of a couple on their wedding day. The card is being sent to everyone in their family/friends. they eloped and didn't tell anyone despite having a date picked for a year from now(and everyone knowing the date). The couple have been together for nearly 10 years and have a child so they're aren't that newly, couldn't wait, in-love people.
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Need some wording help please....
I need a cute but smart-[censored] but grandparent friendly blurb to put on a photo in a card. context: its of a couple on their...
I need a cute but smart-[censored] but grandparent friendly blurb to put on a photo in a card.
context: its of a couple on their wedding day. The card is being sent to everyone in their family/friends. they eloped and didn't tell anyone despite having a date picked for a year from now(and everyone knowing the date). The couple have been together for nearly 10 years and have a child so they're aren't that newly, couldn't wait, in-love people.
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Re: parents/ILs who live close by
my ILs are about 15 min from us. FH sees his dad everyday as they commute to work together but as a collective we see...
my ILs are about 15 min from us. FH sees his dad everyday as they commute to work together but as a collective we see them every few weeks but dinners are rare and mostly for special occasions. I wouldn't mind having more frequent family dinners as its good for DD to spend time with ppl other than me and FH.
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Re: Spin what's your relationship like with your sibs?
I have one older brother. We rarely talk but we also have completely different lives and share very little of the same hobbies. He doesn't...
I have one older brother. We rarely talk but we also have completely different lives and share very little of the same hobbies. He doesn't live in the same city as us. We don't see him except for family dinners. We get along a million times better since we both "grew up" and moved out into our own lives. SIL and I get along great but again have no hobbies in common. They aren't planning on ever having children so having children as a common experience won't ever happen.
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Re: WBers who are only children
I have an off and on relationship with my brother. FH has an ok relationship for his siblings given they are 8-11 years younger than...
I have an off and on relationship with my brother. FH has an ok relationship for his siblings given they are 8-11 years younger than him. We have one child. We will not have any more.
6thyear...I appreciate in theory what your MIL was going for that HER experience as an only wasn't the greatest, however I take extreme exception to the "cruelest thing that can be done to a child". IMHO the cruelest thing would be to have more children that you can financially, emotionally and physically care for. Some people a 2nd would bankrupt them. For others a 2nd can cause life threatening complications to the child OR the mother. Sometimes a 2nd child can cause a relationship between the parents to fail and now you have 2 children and divorced parents.
SnowBride08...I agree with everything you've said.
I have a lot of reasons for not having more but they are not here or there. They are health, they are financial, they are emotional. They are our reasons and being told that I am doing something that is the cruelest thing possible to my child is heartbreaking. I know its not true but this is something that is thrown in my face by family, society etc constantly. I think choosing words needs to be done carefully as until you've walked the road I walked, don't tell me I'm being cruel.
Oh and as far as the taking care of my parents goes? Yeah...I'll be the one doing that even with having a brother. My grandfather was in a home. We all went and saw him once a week AND had him over to our house for dinner once a week while I was growing up. If he had lived on his own with in home care we wouldn't have seen him that much. He was sick and there was no other option but a home with 24/7 care. And as far as DD taking care of FH and I when we're old and decreipt? I fully expect some sort of home or if our house works in home care. Will we expect her to pay for this? No...we are saving towards life and that included end of life care and death.
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Re: How much do you pay? (auto insurance)
$96/mnth. driver for 10+ years. drive a 2007 ford edge, no replacement insurance. and i live in a smaller town outside of a larger one...
$96/mnth. driver for 10+ years. drive a 2007 ford edge, no replacement insurance. and i live in a smaller town outside of a larger one but in BC our ins is regulated so we HAVE to get ins from one company.
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Single income families - what do you miss the most
We've been on just FH's wage for almost a year. He makes a pretty decent wage and the company contributes to an RRSP above and...
We've been on just FH's wage for almost a year. He makes a pretty decent wage and the company contributes to an RRSP above and beyond his wage.
Here is what we do:
- money to save/put into RESPs or RRSPs or emergency funds
- company's RRSP contributions and no emergency fund established yet. luckily our family can help bail us out when we run into an emergency and we pay them back as we can.
- home renovations (whether necessary or cosmetic)
-budget big time and compromise on the little things. we had plywood countertops for a year before we got laminate and have just started putting up the tile backsplash as we finally found what we wanted on a good deal. If you know you are going to want/need to do something you can often get a free estimate from companies and then you can start putting something away to go towards it.
- babysitting services (I feel like I will REALLY NEED THIS if I am home with the kids full time but it will be hard to justify!)
- we're lucky in that his family babysits for us and we don't pay them as its family. we honestly don't go out much without kiddo and normally its ME needing a night out without kiddo so FH stays home with kiddo and I go out (which is fine for him as he's a total homebody)
- housekeeping services/other types of services and help around the house
- we don't have any of this. The house just isn't as clean unless FH helps out and we disagree about this once in awhile but for the most part its just accepted.
- classes/enrichment experiences for the kids (music classes, etc)
-DD is only 2 but I put her in some sort of class all the time through the rec centre. One day a week we go for an art class right now but swimming etc is on the table for the upcoming summer.
- clothing (whether shopping less frequently or buying fewer "nice" things)
-Shop infrequently, buy 2nd hand and when we buy new we tend to buy nice new stuff.
- eating out/other entertainment
-We eat out about once a week and I go out for a girls night every few months.
- groceries/sundries (whether buying fewer "nice" products, or shopping at value stores, etc)
-I menu plan for 2 weeks at a time. We do a biweekly shopping trip to Costco and get everything we need for those two weeks except for some produce in the 2nd week that I then pick up at our local store closer to the time. We sometimes buy store brand stuff but good quality food is important to us where as shampoo/soap/toothpaste can be whatever is on sale.
- vacations
- not related to one income but we haven't gone on "vacation" in coming up 7 years. we do extended weekend camping frequently during the summers so thats kind of our vacation.
- small luxuries (Starbucks, etc)
- I rarely get Sbux(like 2 times a month or so) but get it when I want it...
Hope that helps. After a year off work and DD's health finally stable I am ready to go back to work but FH and I have discussed that IF I go back it has to be at least a certain wage and closer to home than some of my previous jobs. We can afford to be picky about where and when I go back.
Thanks for your thoughts.
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Re: How hard is it to dye your own hair?
I agree with Goose. If you put some hair conditioner/body cream along your hairline on your skin you'll have significantly less staining. I have been...
I agree with Goose. If you put some hair conditioner/body cream along your hairline on your skin you'll have significantly less staining. I have been doing my own hair dye for about 10 years and until my last colouring it always came out the way I wanted it too.
I have long hair and didn't have a shower cap or my normal dye towel to let my hair hang and it ended up processing extra bright on the top of my head where I had piled it, but I was going from a dark brown to a reddish colour so if you are staying dark brown to dark brown you should be ok.
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Re: Say goodbye to the penny.
If they don't do it for all transactions that is going to be a huge PITA to cashiers....and what if you do part cash part...
If they don't do it for all transactions that is going to be a huge PITA to cashiers....and what if you do part cash part card then does it get rounded? How do you know the balance until they put in the payment method? I know as an ex-cashier I would never just hit the "cash" button but would put in $20 cash so it would show the change properly on the receipt.....so if its 1.27 and I was to give the cashier a $2 then all of a sudden when they hit $2 cash the price would change? WTF....this makes my head hurt and I don't even do cashier anymore....
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Re: The Cupcake Girls/Show
I don't mind the show but now that I've tried one of their cupcakes....fairly disappointed in them....much prefer another bakery where I am... ...
I don't mind the show but now that I've tried one of their cupcakes....fairly disappointed in them....much prefer another bakery where I am...
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Re: Hunger Games
2X2...these are my "issues" with the movie.... Click to reveal.. ...
2X2...these are my "issues" with the movie....
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Re: What are you doing with your tax return $$?
IF we get a refund this year it'll be used to pay off debt...but it'll go towards being able to afford our summer plans this...
IF we get a refund this year it'll be used to pay off debt...but it'll go towards being able to afford our summer plans this year.
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Re: Dress Designer ?
thanks T&C (and thanks for the how-to) ...
thanks T&C (and thanks for the how-to)
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Re: Hunger Games
there were a couple things that weren't put into the movie which made me a bit twitchy(but I'm a bit obsessive....) but overall very well...
there were a couple things that weren't put into the movie which made me a bit twitchy(but I'm a bit obsessive....) but overall very well done. I had a very different idea in my head on how Peeta would look so was a little disappointed in that casting(from the physical side of things) but the acting was well cast.
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Re: Funeral - what do you want?
more relaxed and "celebration of life" than funeral. I know I'll be cremated and spread at sea so there won't be any sort of viewing....
more relaxed and "celebration of life" than funeral. I know I'll be cremated and spread at sea so there won't be any sort of viewing. FH knows from experience with my family's last service that there are things I don't want. We aren't religious in anyway so there won't be any hymns etc as that just doesn't coincide with our lifestyle. Other than some major things with FH knows to avoid on pain of haunting the rest is up for him to decide to arrange.
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Dress Designer ?
So I found a couple dresses for a wedding I'm helping plan (and be in) but they are on a website only company but I...
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Re: Hunger Games
normally I wait for the hype to die down before going and seeing one of these type of movies (like I do for Twilight) but...
normally I wait for the hype to die down before going and seeing one of these type of movies (like I do for Twilight) but we're going tonight. Our theatre lets us reserve specific seats so we have seats preselected, prepaid for and all we have to do is show up with enough time to get snacks and find our seats.
Can't FREAKIN wait for tonight (t-minus 5 hours!!!!)
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Re: Are your neighbours "friendly"?
The first week after we'd moved in (a month after officially ours...we did massive renos) our direct across the street neighbour's kids (older teenagers) spent...
The first week after we'd moved in (a month after officially ours...we did massive renos) our direct across the street neighbour's kids (older teenagers) spent a couple hours on their roof shooting air pellets at our windows and cars (came out and the cars were COVERED)....FH discussed this with the parents and they denied that their kids could possibly do ANYTHING like this (even with photograph proof). They haven't talked to us since and its been 3 years. Honestly...none of our neighbours are friendly with us, unless you count my upstairs tenants
FH's parent's neighbours are awesome. They're very good friends with one of their neighbours, in fact have a gate inbetween their yards.
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Re: Please help me dress my DH...
I'm on the other side of the country from you so my advice likely wont help in any way but....look outside the malls. FH found...
I'm on the other side of the country from you so my advice likely wont help in any way but....look outside the malls.
FH found a mens boutique that has stunning shirts that actually fit him without alterations or being big in the body. He's 6'0, 180lb and big shoulders but smaller torso/hips relative to his shoulders. He normally wears an XL but the dept store shirts were always big around his body when they fit his shoulders. Now that he found this boutique he gets a new shirt every year (they're around $150 ea so not something you buy a bunch at once of) and no alterations and nice quality and a little "different".
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Restaurant copy cat recipes
I have Kelsey's 4 Cheese Spinach Dip.... Ingredients: 8 ounces cream cheese 3/4 teaspoon garlic powder (not garlic salt) ... 1/4 cup (scant -...
I have Kelsey's 4 Cheese Spinach Dip....
Ingredients:
8 ounces cream cheese
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder (not garlic salt)
... 1/4 cup (scant - not packed at all) freshly grated parmasan cheese
1 tablespoon (not packed) freshly grated romano cheese
1 tablespoon (rounded) very finely chopped sweet red pepper
1 green onion (scallion) white and green finely chopped
1/2 package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
1/2 cup grated medium cheddar
pinch of cayenne pepper
Method:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Mix first 4 ingredients with hand or stand mixer on medium until softened and well mixed.
Add next two ingredients and mix on med-low until just incorporated.
Add spinach and mix on low until just incorporated.
Transfer mixture to a small ovenproof dish and sprinkling cayenne on top to taste. Top with cheddar. Bake for 15 - 18 minutes or until bubbling around the edges.
Remove from oven and allow to set for 5 - 7 minutes before serving. Serve with fried or baked pita wedges and tortilla chips (nachos).
***I often double the recipe if I'm going out to a friend's for appy night***
***mix in some precooked shrimp and its even better***
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Re: Landlord question - Can you get sued for injury?
As a landlord a good way of being legally allowed entry to the rental property to check on things is to do a smoke detector...
As a landlord a good way of being legally allowed entry to the rental property to check on things is to do a smoke detector check every few months. We do this with some rentals where we're not thrilled with the tenants. This allows us to go into the property (with 24 hr notice of course) and check to make sure the smoke alarms are installed and working but also allows us to do a glance around the place to make sure its being kept up properly and if there are concerns we can then discuss them with the tenants at the time (ie hey..while i was there and checking the smoke alarms like I said I would be I noticed that one room was full of full garbage bags...this is kind of a fire hazard.....)
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Re: What is wrong with hoodies with thumbholes?
I have a zip "hoodie (no hood) with thumbholes. Love 'em. Now I have to go find it as its been missing for awhile .......
I have a zip "hoodie (no hood) with thumbholes. Love 'em.
Now I have to go find it as its been missing for awhile .... hmm....
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Re: Tell me about Victoria area
I live in Sidney (literally 5 minutes off the ferry and you're at my house) so as far from Esq (and the base) as you...
I live in Sidney (literally 5 minutes off the ferry and you're at my house) so as far from Esq (and the base) as you can get and still live in the Greater Victoria Area.
My FH works at the shipyard, which is right beside the base, and it takes him anywhere from 30 min to an hr and half to drive home. Yup...big difference but it depends on his shift (the hr and half is when he gets off around 5pm and the base and the shipyard both empty at the same time and its a cluster eff and won't EVER get better...in fact will likely get worse).
It is CRAZY expensive for housing (more so than other areas of Victoria). The only way we're making it work is we have tenants who rent out a suite in the house, and we managed to get the house on a STEAL and do major renos (to put in the suite) ourselves.
We've talked extensively about moving up to Mill Bay area. The schools there (primarily Kelsey) are pretty good and the housing is cheaper than Sidney. The commute is about the same for FH from Sidney or from Mill Bay and there are more guys living up there for carpooling.
The Malahat (only way up/down the island) is not the greatest and when the weather is bad it does get shut down and when an accident happens its a BAD accident and it gets shut down.
Gas (as of last night about 8pm) was about 134.....it changes so rapidly that it isn't something you can track at all.
Saanichton (where there is a lot of farming) is fairly expensive as well but a little bit better than Sidney. The peninsula is nice if you don't care about having a bit longer drive to get to big box stores (ie walmart/costco) but everything you need like grocery stores/gas/ are close by but entertainment is all in town. It can be a PITA but you kinda get used to living "out here". Sidney is kind of its own world. More than half of its citizens are elderly. The others are parents of kids(mostly). (if you want more info about it let me know...its not for everyone)
I grew up in Nanaimo, went to school in Duncan. FH grew up here, went to school here and will never leave other than to go to Mill Bay area. I love it down here and will NEVER move north of Duncan.
The transit system isn't BAD but isn't great...
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Re: Do you put up with criticism on FB?
I have defriended ppl over rude behavior on my fb page. Now I just hide ppl that I don't want to deal with but can't...
I have defriended ppl over rude behavior on my fb page. Now I just hide ppl that I don't want to deal with but can't delete (ie step-grandparents of FH etc). The ppl who have been defriended don't get a warning or explanation and any subsequent friend requests from those ppl are ignored. My page, my life, my rules.
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Re: Very Important Question.....
FH loves creamed corn from a can (I think its disgusting) but other than that the only canned "veggies" I buy are beans or tomatoes,...
FH loves creamed corn from a can (I think its disgusting) but other than that the only canned "veggies" I buy are beans or tomatoes, everything else is either frozen or fresh. We use a ton of frozen mixed vegetables as they're nice and quick to cook.
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Re: Kitchen colour help
EvieM this is what we're planning for the "dining area" as it'll just be one big open room the entire length of the building for...
EvieM this is what we're planning for the "dining area" as it'll just be one big open room the entire length of the building for the kitchen/dining room/living room area
http://pinterest.com/pin/275141858454368581/I'm not a huge fan of two different cabinet colours...not sure why but it just doesn't do it for me.
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Re: Kitchen colour help
FH hates subway tile but I know what you're going for. The only concern I have with white cabinets is our dining room table is...
FH hates subway tile but I know what you're going for.
The only concern I have with white cabinets is our dining room table is dark wood and it'll be right beside the white kitchen.
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Re: Kitchen colour help
Wow thanks siorhona! I like the natural or the white now seeing it. Thanks ...
Wow thanks siorhona! I like the natural or the white now seeing it. Thanks
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Re: Post Wedding Chop? Yes or No? *Pics*
love it. looking forward to seeing curly pictures as I have freakishly curly hair and am in need of a desperate change and have thought...
love it. looking forward to seeing curly pictures as I have freakishly curly hair and am in need of a desperate change and have thought about chopping it....
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Kitchen colour help
So FH and I are building a new suite for the three of us on his parents property. It'll be fairly small (2 bed 1...
So FH and I are building a new suite for the three of us on his parents property. It'll be fairly small (2 bed 1 bath about 1000 sq ft). We're doing polished concrete floors to save money but allow us to have in-floor heating, we'll be keeping the floors the "natural" concrete grey. We're trying to keep the style sort of barn/craftsmen but NOT "country" but still somewhat modern (yes I know this is a contradiction but....). We're disagreeing about what colour cabinets to put in. As the suite will be fairly neutral and cool colours due to the grey flooring I was thinking of a splash of bright colour using the cabinets but FH wants to put sort of an ivory/mushroom colour.
Any suggestions?
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Re: What do you fantasize about?
cooking (new recipe ideas) winning the lottery, which starts house daydreaming, renos, vacations etc.... ...
cooking (new recipe ideas)
winning the lottery, which starts house daydreaming, renos, vacations etc....
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Re: How important is/was it that it be real?
My current set is Swarovski Crystal. It looks real. I have some very judgemental ppl in my life and when I did share that it...
My current set is Swarovski Crystal. It looks real. I have some very judgemental ppl in my life and when I did share that it wasn't real diamonds in the ring ALL of them were shocked.
FH and I agreed I'll get a new set of whatever I want by the time we get married as this one was a "temporary" set from the beginning. I don't know if I'll get a real diamond or not as that really doesn't matter to me. I have lots of other jewellery that he has bought me over the 7 years we've been together including a real diamond promise ring. The rings to me aren't as important as the life you lead. This may be because I grew up with a father who never wore his wedding ring a day of my life until he retired 2 years ago. My mom has a small diamond in her ring and none in her wedding bad, very simple. My FH won't wear his ring 99% of the time of our life.
Does a diamond "make" a relationship? Does it signify how long it will last? Heck..does a ring REALLY matter? Would you marry someone if you couldn't have a diamond or a ring for that matter?
I'm happy with my $150 set. I don't like that its not gold and makes my finger itch every once in awhile (metal allergy). If I could take every crystal out of my ring and have them set into solid gold...I'd be ecstatic.
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Re: So Many Family Issues!
re: the sibling issue - if the comments were made to your FH I think you should ask your FH to try to address their...
re: the sibling issue - if the comments were made to your FH I think you should ask your FH to try to address their unfoundedness directly. Its better coming from him than you because he is the one who was "complained" too.
re: the wedding day choice - A saturday is the most reasonable. A weekday likely would result in very few people attending. Are you hiring any vendors within your FMIL's faith? If not then it would still be a day of "rest" for her and their family as they do not have to "work".
re: your FFIL/boundaries - set them and uphold them. you and your FH need to sit down and talk about what boundaries you would like upheld by ALL sides of the family. This is one area that is important (IMO) to be universal. ie. no family members on any side may make unsolicited career/financial/religious/etc remarks or comments or XYZ will occur. be prepared for some upset if you do this. however if you are calm and explain why you are saying these things typically it'll be accepted (it may take some time but...)
Like PP have said focus on how you want your LIFE with your FH to occur and while he may be upset now in the long term he'd likely be more upset about not having them in his life.
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Re: When it's your time -
I want to be cremated and spread in the ocean. We have both (pretty much) always lived within a stone's throw of it and I...
I want to be cremated and spread in the ocean. We have both (pretty much) always lived within a stone's throw of it and I am very attached to the water. My grandfather's ashes were spread in the ocean and I think in a way he is now everywhere instead of in just one place like my Grandmother's ashes which were buried on one aunt's property under a tree. I don't want to be buried at all(cremated or otherwise) as I'm just not fond of the concept or the delivery or anything.
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If you didn't see baby's gender at 20w U/S...xpost
My DD wouldn't be co-operative at all at the 20 week. The tech said he'd lean more one way than the other (a whole 5%...not...
My DD wouldn't be co-operative at all at the 20 week. The tech said he'd lean more one way than the other (a whole 5%...not enough for me to plan the way I needed to!). We ended up paying for a 3D and got a very nice clear shot even with a sleeping baby and an anterior placenta.
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Re: Are you worried about your job security?
I am currently unemployed(and have been since my mat leave ended April 2011) and have been seriously searching for the past 4 months. FH just...
I am currently unemployed(and have been since my mat leave ended April 2011) and have been seriously searching for the past 4 months. FH just got back to work on Monday after being unemployed since September. Luckily he makes a really good wage so now that he is working my unemployment is less of an issue but I'm still searching. If he lost his "new" job (he's worked for the company in the past but left for an overseas contract) he could go work out of town which he is very resistant to doing but if its the choice between keeping the house and loosing it he'd go.
A friend of mine just got called into her on-call job today for the company to hand pink-slips to everyone, they're out of work as of July unless they choose to stay on at (what everyone is anticipating)the much lower pay scale.
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Sunglasses for a 2 year old
M had banz last summer....it was on and off with if she'd wear them or not. She got some reg sunnies from gymbo for her...
M had banz last summer....it was on and off with if she'd wear them or not. She got some reg sunnies from gymbo for her bday and she wore those a few times. Next summer we'll try a bunch of different things to get something that'll work.
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Re: Spin: Do you spend more than your spouse?
technically I spend more as I do the all the shopping for the household and pay all the bills however he spends more money on...
technically I spend more as I do the all the shopping for the household and pay all the bills however he spends more money on himself and his hobbies.
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Re: What's worse - Emotional or Physical Affair??
For me personally ANY type of affair would devastate me completely. however to say which is worse will completely depend on how you approach sex...
For me personally ANY type of affair would devastate me completely.
however to say which is worse will completely depend on how you approach sex and emotions. sex can be just sex but so can emotions....
Do I oogle other men who are hot? heck yes but I still adore and oogle my man. Does FH oogle other women? yes but he still comes home to me and doesn't do anything. For us as long as it doesn't go past appreciation from a distance then it doesn't count as an emotional affair.
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Re: Planning to elope - when to tell family?
My FH and I have gone around and around and around about what kind of wedding to have as we have extreme family issues. We...
My FH and I have gone around and around and around about what kind of wedding to have as we have extreme family issues. We are eloping. My parents know as they had offered an amt of money towards our wedding if we were having one and kept asking what our plans were. I know my mom is not necessarily ecstatic about our choice but she also understands the reason behind it. We aren't telling FH's family at all as they're all crazy and the cause of the elopement. They're going to be mad but they weren't going to contribute monetarily (in fact were going to cause me to spend MORE) to a wedding if we'd have had one. My parents are not going to be told WHERE it will be but simply when as they will be taking care of our daughter during that time (we may not even tell them its for our elopement....)
We are planning on making a weekend getaway of it and still getting dressed up for each other. We'll still have photography done and will share the resulting images with the family eventually. We have talked about having a backyard BBQ for the friends who are supportive and we truly love that way we can invite who we actually want and not ppl that we "have" to.
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"Hot Wheels" dinky type cars
My DD has been playing with them since 9-10 mo, so yup....2yrs is fine in my books. ...
My DD has been playing with them since 9-10 mo, so yup....2yrs is fine in my books.
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Re: check out our new house - we built it ourselves!
as someone who is still living in her reno 3 yrs later...AWESOME job. I'm looking forward to the day we can do what you just...
as someone who is still living in her reno 3 yrs later...AWESOME job.
I'm looking forward to the day we can do what you just did. One day it will happen.
Beautiful house
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Four month shots and a bit of a brag...
babies are amazing and crazy resilient after surgery. It's amazing how fixing one thing can make such a difference(first hand experience here too) ...
babies are amazing and crazy resilient after surgery.
It's amazing how fixing one thing can make such a difference(first hand experience here too)
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Re: Are unions still needed?
FH has worked both non-union and union for the same trade. He much preferred the non-union(he was also boss's son there :P) for the benefits...
FH has worked both non-union and union for the same trade. He much preferred the non-union(he was also boss's son there :P) for the benefits that he was given but the union is also good in his old job he had as it did serve to clamp down on some idiots as well as does protect his job. The company he used to work for is also very careful about paying appropriately for overtime or back to back(ie having less than 8 hrs between shifts) shifts due to the massive union that backs their employees. I know that in FH's non-union, daddy-owned company if there was less than 8 hrs between shifts he didn't get the DOUBLE-TIME that the union forces the company to pay if there isn't the 8hrs.
There is the good and the bad. FH doesn't like the union telling the company who can stay simply b/c they are unionised which does keep some bad apples employed whereas in non-union they'd get a few warnings, fired and have to try and find a job somewhere else before word got around that trade that they're an idiot.
I've never worked a union job so have no personal experience. Both my parents worked union jobs. My mom had a tough time as she was in mgmt and non-unionised but her employees were unionised and went on strike but she had to cross picket line to go to work or she wouldn't be paid. It was very uncomfortable for her but the alternative of not having money(or losing her job) to support her family was more uncomfortable.
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Re: Kids: If you had to do it over again...
I voted "other". I have a kid but if I knew then what I know now I would have some pretty serious debates whether to...
I voted "other".
I have a kid but if I knew then what I know now I would have some pretty serious debates whether to have DD.
Sounds atrocious but I have a previously undiagnosed genetic syndrome that I have passed onto DD. She's had open heart surgery and likely has some sort of kidney issues as well that are 100% related to the syndrome and could have more limitations that come to light as she gets older.
It's something I still struggle daily with, however I love my DD more than anything else but will always wonder "what if". I do plan on being very open with DD once she's old enough to understand its not regret but the hardship that comes with a "special" child.
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Re: How offended would you be?
redandrea - I'm not even inviting a whole side of my family. I left that side up to my dad (they're his siblings and families)....
redandrea - I'm not even inviting a whole side of my family. I left that side up to my dad (they're his siblings and families). He said he didn't care if they were there or not. So they likely will not be invited at all.
I am trying to get FH to agree to a parents & siblings only at ceremony (thats 12 ppl not incl us). Not having anyone there wouldn't cause irrepreable damage but I can see my mom being a bit put out by it. I'd like to have my parents and brother there but its not a deal breaker for me.
If FH won't agree to the parents & sibs at ceremony I have forced an agreement that we'll do the two events substantially closer together. The 8 month spread was simply that we were going to get married while he was home from work this holiday season and then have the party when he was back and the weather is nice in the summer.
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Re: How offended would you be?
thanks for the responses. We've been together for almost 7 yrs now and almost 8 by the time we get married so gifts are not...
thanks for the responses.
We've been together for almost 7 yrs now and almost 8 by the time we get married so gifts are not really needed at all but are always appreciated(I'm going to put something to this effect on the invites as we have everything we could possibly need or want at this point in our lives and don't have room to store stuff for the future)
FH doesn't want anyone at the ceremony but him and I and the legally required witnesses for reasons he can't put into clear words ("I just don't" is his best explanation). I'm trying to convince him into parents, siblings & our witnesses.
There is only one aunt/uncle and her kids that we are remotely close to out of 8 aunts and uncles and all their children.
I was thinking of doing it on the same day, with the ceremony earlier in the day and then party at dinner time with full dinner and dance etc.
Jasey - these family members do fully expect to be invited to whatever version of a wedding we have.
Amz - no, no redo ceremony. I can't figure out a way of making it non-awkward and thats part of why FH wants to elope is the privateness of the vows.
Muskn - I don't see the difference between a few days/weeks earlier or a few hours earlier...(not trying to be rude...just not seeing the difference)
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How offended would you be?
So FH and I are going around in circles regarding our wedding. He wants to elope and have a party 8 mo later. I agreed...
So FH and I are going around in circles regarding our wedding. He wants to elope and have a party 8 mo later. I agreed to it but I'm not loving it and want to try to find something better.
FH and I are not particularly close with most of our extended family. If you were a cousin/aunt/whatever that we didn't see regularly(ie MAYBE once a year for dinner....)would you be offended if you were invited to dinner & dance but not the ceremony?
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